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Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Get pregnant at 25 if you want a high-powered career? ie: be successful. Bullshit!

Penelope Trunk recently wrote a blog post where she outlines how young women can be successful in having a high-powered career:

1) get married by 20-25 years of age
2) education isn't key
3) find a husband, this is key (oh wait, I said that already)
4) have kids
5) get an education after, if you want
6) establish your career.

I don't believe there is a right or wrong answer. I believe it's a choice and what works for one woman may not work for another. What I do have an issue with is Trunk putting women into a box and if they don't follow the order of events as she states them to be correct, success is far from reach. That's bullshit. Point blank.

Read Trunk's Blog Post Here

Then read my thoughts on her post...

I literally almost vomited in my mouth. I respect a woman’s choice to get married in her early twenties and have babies by or around age 25, but this blogger totally put women into a BOX and if you’re not in that box, you’re basically not going to succeed – that was the jest of the blog article. It made me insanely irritated. She blatantly tells Generation Z to spend the years from 20-25 focused on getting married and furthermore states that “there is no evidence that doing well in school during that period of your life will get you worthwhile benefits.” WTF?!?!?!? Get married = success. Getting an education = not worth the trouble? Really? That’s what we want to teach young women these days? I want to slap this woman across the face! Yes, I am a feminist in every sense of the word. No that doesn’t mean I’m a lesbian or anti-men. It doesn’t mean I’m anti anything in fact. It means that I believe strongly that men and women are equally and should be treated as such. This article basically tells women that for them to be successful they A) must get married (because being a single mother = being unsucessful) B) should make sure they get married in their early twenties C) shouldn't focus on getting an education first because it doesn’t help D) then focus on your career.

I mean really?!??!! I have NO problem with someone getting married early, having children early, getting their education last (or not getting one at all) and then establishing a career. I have NO problem with that let me reiterate that again. What I have a problem with is this WOMAN telling other women that if they don’t do those things, in that order they won’t be successful? What a load of crap. There may be evidence that “women who have kids earlier have healthier kids” and evidence that “women who have grown children by age 45 do better at getting to the top of the workforce” but there is also of the contrary as it pertains to sucessfull women. Perhaps they weren’t CEO’s of major corporations, but how many women in our lives are?

My grandmother has always been my inspiration. Growing up in a third world country, she got her college education, was a social activist, and started her teaching career before getting married and having children. Once she did get married and had 4 children, my grandfather and she travelled the world together, literally, she still was an amazing mother, worked hard, and was successful. She may not have become the President of Fiji, but she was an inspiration, God rest her soul.

And Penelope Trunk can shove that in her box.

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

Biblical Hypocrisy – Abortion is a sin. Homosexuality is a sin. So is90% of what you’re doing.

I have a real issue with Biblical hypocrisy.  I have encountered many people who very strongly believe marriage should only be between a man and a woman. The bible says so, they say. These same people are often pro-life – abortion is a sin they say, the bible says so. Ironically, premarital sex is a sin, is it not? Having children out of wedlock is a sin, is it not? Why is it that so many religious Christians seem to apply the rules to their lives that only doctrine their own agendas. If you’re pregnant before getting married, well having an abortion is a sin and you’d NEVER do that – really? Maybe you should’ve considered that before you had premarital sex, since that is a sin also, according to the Bible. Or perhaps you shouldn't have conceived out of wedlock, that is also a sin you know? Are some sins less sinful than others? I don’t remember reading that in the Bible?

I am Muslim. But at no time do I claim to be a religious person. The Quran states many sins and has an abundance of “rules” similar to the Bible. I choose to apply religion in my life as a guide in making decisions. Religion guides me, it doesn’t rule me.That’s my own personal philosophy. Many Muslims will shun my philosophy and that's okay with me. Because we will all meet our maker one day and that's who I will have to answer to. That being said, no matter what “rules” I find silly, what rules I hold true and what I may believe don’t apply to my life, I would NEVER try to govern what does or doesn’t work for me to the general population, like many fanatical religious Christians are trying to do. If it doesn’t work for you and your lifestyle, GREAT, don’t live by it – but STOP trying to force the rest of us to live by your own beliefs! If you’re pro-life, GREAT – don’t have premarital sex, don't get pregnant out of wedlock and don’t have an abortion - follow the guidelines that work for you. But pro-choice is a CHOICE. It’s not pro-abortion; it’s the ability to make the decision yourself as a sound minded individual! Same goes with marriage. You don’t believe marriage should be between anyone other than a man and woman – GREAT; don’t marry someone of the same gender! Why stop the rest of the world from making decisions that doctrine their personal beliefs?!?! The hypocrisy is disgusting. I know many religious Christians who are pro-life and against marriage in homosexual relationships, yet they prance around in bikinis – bodies exposed for the entire world to see. That, my bible thumping friends, is a sin. Exposing your body in a bikini is not following the teachings of the Bible. That is hypocrisy. I read something amazing recently. It nailed it!

So homosexuality isa sin… Abortion is a sin…So is not treating your body like a temple. Ladies should have their head covered (ironically so many religious Christians shun Muslims who choose to cover their head). In Deuteronomy, marriage is only valid if the woman is a virgin, and she should be executed if she is not.  Anyone who commits adultery should be stoned to death.  In Mark, divorce is prohibited.  I assume for homosexuality, you’re referring to Leviticus 18:6: “You shall not lie with a male as one lies with a female. It is an abomination.” A similar verse occurs two chapters later in Leviticus20:13: “A man who sleeps with another man is an abomination and should be executed.”  Leviticus is a holiness code written 3,000 years ago. It also includes prohibitions against round haircuts, tattoos, working on the day of the Sabbath, wearing garments of mixed fabrics, eating pork or shellfish, getting your fortune told, and even playing with the skin of a pig (there goes football)! I strongly believe in morality, which is doing right regardless of what I am told, not in religion, which is doing what I am told regardless of what is right. You’re welcome to your own interpretation of the Bible and of politics, of course, but for me, I need more than “the Bible says so” to justify certain things in this world and certainly to judge them.

Amen to that.

Thursday, June 7, 2012


I've never been a religious person. The word "religious" kind of scares me. But I am Muslim - and proud. Lately, I've realized that I've asked a lot from God, but I haven't given much in return. I haven't prayed, meditated or really reflected in a long time. I don't think it's fair for me to ask so much from God but barely even speak to Him. As a woman and mother, I have so much to be thankful for. But I haven't given thanks in awhile. We have so long to go to meet our goals as a stable and successful family, and I have no doubt that we will get there. Life is hard, but it's also rewarding. I know that I need to focus on me and my goals, especially around my fitness goals. I get going and do great for a few weeks and then something (like food poisoning) or maybe nothing at all, knocks me off my feet and I have the hardest time getting back on track. It's a never ending story that I want to end. I know what I need to do to get where I want to be, but I have the hardest time being consistent. And of course, consistency is key. I need to get my mojo back and be better about holding onto it.

First things first, I need to set realistic goals:

1. Pray more often. I need to meditate. and pray more often. When I do, I feel inner peace.

2. Eat better. We don't have a lot of bad foods in our house (except for now when we have some junk lying around from Eju's birthday extravaganzas). More veggies, fruits, lean proteins. Less carbs and no junk food. I want to prepare 3-4 dinners ahead of time by making enough chicken breast on Sundays to last me a few days. That way, I can come home, heat a piece of already cooked chicken breast, stir up some veggies, and eat a decent meal before 7pm. This is BIG as I can be bad about eating later than I want to.

3. Work on my fitness regime. I must be consistent about working out at least 5 days a week. This means back to 5am workouts. This is when I'm most consistent. I can't come home too tired to work out. I can't be too exhausted to work out after making dinner, feeding, bathing and playing with Elijah. It has to be done and it has to be done early. I also want to preform 3 days of my tone-it-up videos and 1-2 days of something fun outside, like running around the park with Elijah.

4. Drink more water. No excuses. Just do it.

5. Get back to sleeping early. I need to be in bed by 10pm again. It was a routine I couldn't avoid because after waking up early and being in the go, go, go, I'd be pooped by 10pm. Lately, I've been wide awake until 12ish watching reruns on tv. Not good.