Copyright © While They Sleep

Tuesday, April 30, 2013

End rant.

Sometimes I wish I could time warp to when I was a child & had no worries & responsibilities.

Today was exhausting.

When one full time job ends, the other starts up again. Being a working mom is a lot of work. Don't get me wrong, it's very rewarding also. I know and appreciate that. But it is also very exhausting at times. Today was one instance. Or many instances, actually.

I woke up and worked out, which took some effort since Aunt Flo decided to visit. But I got in a good cardio session before I took a shower and got ready. Made Eju a bottle, fed the dog, and said bye to my husband and son, to head off to work - all day (it felt like forever). It was a busy day and I'm working on a few big projects. Nine hours later, I came home to a fussy toddler. The evening then started and I ended up at my parents to pick up a few things. With a fussy toddler in tote. I ended up staying a couple hours; feeding the kids (my son and nieces), eating myself (thank God), helping Laila (my eldest niece) with her homework, etc. Finally I get home, but immediately start cleaning the kitchen, bathing Eju, and putting him to bed with a freshly cleaned bottle. It felt like it had been forever when I finally sat down. My husband had to work late tonight so it was single mom status. 

It's been a long day. Since 4:30am, in fact. Too bad if I want to be up that early again, I have to turn around and go to sleep.

For now, I'm going sit in my garage; where I'm shielded from the gusts of wind, but able to enjoy the sounds, cool air, and dark skies.

Good night.

Disciplining a Toddler: Timeouts?

I came across a Facebook post linked to an article on timeouts and if they were effective or "messing up kids."  The article made some great points (click the link above to read it in full).

I specifically agree with Edward Christophersen, a psychologist and pediatrician at Children’s Mercy Hospital in Kansas City, Mo., and the author of Beyond Discipline: Parenting That Lasts a Lifetime.  

"Timeouts don’t work very well, if you haven’t created a richly positive environment for your child.  In other words, “it's the effort parents put into time-in that determines whether or not timeout works,” Christophersen says, so when parents and teachers categorically state that timeouts don’t work with their kids, it can be a warning sign of more serious problems in the home or school environment. If you rarely praise, hug, or interact positively with little Sammy, then acting up may be the only way he can get your attention, and for a kid, negative attention (such as when parents get mad) is better than no attention. 

Agree 100%.

As a parent, we feel we have effectively incorporated timeouts for our almost-two-year-old son, Elijah.  However, we also VERY often praise, hug and kiss, and positively interact with him.  He does not feel 'punished' or 'abandoned' when we do give him timeouts.  What I have noticed is how INEFFECTIVE spanking is for our son.  While I know some parents are adamantly opposed to spanking, and others are for it, I would be lying if I said we never lightly spanked Elijah's bottom or hand, although it rarely happens.  I was not exactly for "spanking" but also grew up in a time where corporal punishment was normal (especially in my ethno-traditional Indian upbringing).  That being said, I remember how much I HATED my parents for spanking me and told myself I didn't want to parent this way.  I did not want my son to hate me because of the forms of punishment he received.  I realize that some of the techniques used on me did have negative consequences (i.e.: feeling hatred toward the two people I should never feel hatred towards, my parents).  Of course, that time passed and I feel nothing but love and admiration for my parents now that I am an adult and a parent myself.  Nevertheless, I still remember that "feeling" stemmed from the corporal punishment I received. 

Thankfully, I received a lot of training on early childhood education and parenting through the agency I was previously employed with.  I feel I truly learned the benefits of "nurturing parenting" principles stemmed around positive interaction, speaking to Elijah like an adult, getting down to his level to speak to him (especially when a more authoritative voice is needed) and always loving and praising him.  This approach has worked WONDERS for us.  We do not feel like we are dealing with "the terrible two's" we hear so often about.  Our son is actually far from "terrible" although he is just about two years old.

I strongly believe that the nurturing parenting techniques, as well as effective and age appropriate timeouts, work wonders.  Elijah HATES time out (which for us is removing him from his current surrounding to a quiet corner in the house).  We do not put him there and just "abandon" him.  We get down to his level, explain calmly what he did and why he is there and give him a specified time limit.  He usually throws a fit for a few seconds, but I have noticed if I speak to him like an adult, he gets it more than if I were to be frustrated and yell at him.  In the end, he does not like the idea of timeout, so often he knows what he should not do to end up in timeout.  In his head, I see him thinking, "I shouldn't do that, or I'll be in timeout."  Which to me, speaks volumes in that he is getting the concept and understanding the cause and effect around his behavior resulting in a positive learning experience for him.

In the end, I am ALL for nurturing parenting and effective, age appropriate time outs.  Children need discipline and structure, but they also need love, praise and nurturing.

What techniques do you use when applying discipline to your child?  Has it been effective?

I strongly urge parents to look into the "nurturing parenting" techniques and would be happy to elaborate more about what I learned in regards to these principles.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

Battling Soap Scum

I'm an adult.
I'm excited about an interesting concoction of a soap scum killer I found on Pinterest!

Nonetheless, the concoction seems to be great as it got a lot of great reviews. I am in the process of trying it for the first time myself. It's pretty simple really. You mix equal parts dawn soap and warmed white vinegar, put it into a spray bottle and voila! I sprayed my master bathroom shower which is plagued with soap scum (I haaaaaate it)! No matter how much I scrub and clean, the marks don't go away! I hope this works. Will update tomorrow once I let it soak over night and scrub tomorrow.

To view the whole concoction go From the Heart's Blog titled DIY Soap Scum Killer.

You can find me on Pinterest too! Follow me here!

I'm a couple weeks late updating you on my experience using the Soap Scum Killer - sorry! It turns out, it worked pretty well.  But I can't say that it was a God send, like the 'pin' claims.  It did get out a good layer, or two, of soap scum, but mine must have had years worth of buildup - I think the previous owners of our house just neglected their bathroom glass doors.  However, I found that it did help get rid of a lot of the soap scum, but not entirely.  I think I'll have to repeat this cycle 3 or 4 times to get all the soap scum out. I'll update again after I've given it a few more tries!

*Picture from From the Heart's post!

Monday, April 8, 2013


When I die, I want to leave a good impression in this world.

I don't have to be popular.
I don't have to be rich or famous.

I just want to know I've contributed to society in some way.
That I've helped people.
That when I look back at my life, I remember how I touched even one persons life.
And hopefully many more; directly and indirectly.

Until then, I just want to live a long and happy life.
That's all I want.

Good night.


It’s been a little over a month since I’ve blogged.  My last entry on March 4th ended with an epiphany in which I realized I had become too engulfed in social media and stopped living.  Since then, I made some changes and as part of that, I refrained from blogging.  I just wanted to live. And so I did. 
Even though it’s only been a little over a month, soooooo much has happened in that time.
Since then, I left a job I had been at for almost a year at a State department and moved over to a State department more in line with my passions: helping people.  With a sociology background, and the stability of the State, I really wanted to get into a department more aligned with my passions.  I left the Department of Boating and Waterways (DBW) for the Department of Social Services (DSS) in the middle of March.  It was a big move.  I learned a lot at the DBW and also made some great friends.  But it was time for me to go.  With a merger in place at DBW with the Department of Parks and Recreation, I felt this was the best time to transition out.  Joining DSS meant working in a department closely related to my educational background: Sociology.  I was so incredibly excited! So far, it’s been going pretty smoothly.  A little slow to start, but good nonetheless.  I hate being the new girl, but it comes with the territory.  I’m finally starting to make ‘friends’ and get a more concrete feeling that I belong here.  I see myself being here awhile so it’s important to me that I build lasting relationships with staff here.  That being said, I feel working here will be a challenge and a definite learning experience.  I knew my direct supervisor and I would click and so far that is true to fact.  She is my age, her managing philosophies mirror what mine would be, and we have a lot in common. I foresee a friendship continuing to form. 
A new job isn’t the only change since I logged off on March 4th.  My parents have been traveling to the Middle East the past few weeks.  They finally return in a week’s time.  It’s insane how much I have missed them.  As we get older, the roles definitely reverse; this is common in my culture.  I can’t help but worry about my parents and want to check in.  They raised us for so long and protected us from the evil in the world and now that we are adults, it feels like our job to do the same for them.  With that, for me comes anxiety.  I have suffered with anxiety for some time now.  Yesterday, I felt a mini-panic attack approaching.  No one had heard from my parents in 5 days now.  Their sim card had expired so we had no way to call their cell phones until they purchased and installed a new sim card.  They were not responding to emails (or not checking their emails), they hadn’t uploaded new pictures on Facebook since before those 5 days; I was starting to worry.  Sunday morning, I felt a lot of anxiety coming on and so I put on my private eye hat and got to work.  Long story short, I tracked down my parents, with a lot of panic and tears in between, and was able to speak to my mom.  Their having fun, but she’s exhausted, has a cough/sore throat, and is ready to come home.  I think they over compensated and planned one too many events to check out.  I keep reminding my mother that she’s not the peppy 50 year-old anymore she once was; she’s 67.  Thankfully, they only have one week left. I can’t wait to see them!
My car accident case from when I was 5 months pregnant is finally coming to a close.  We had arbitration recently and a settlement was offered.  I still need to finalize the details with my attorney, but I am just happy this whole process is almost over! It has been a loooooong 2 years.
I’m also excited that we are getting to a position where we can work on things for our home.  I think some of our first big projects as we resume Project House to Home will be crown molding and staining the kitchen cabinets/bathroom cabinets.  I can’t wait! I’m also busy picking out pieces of furniture.  I know it will be a process but I’m excited J
These are only some of the changes I’ve been going through in just a month.  I’ve also been continuing to build a healthy lifestyle by eating lean, clean and green while also exercising and keeping up the workouts.  I’ve noticed some major changes in my body – my ass is amazing! ;) Hahaha!
Life with Elijah is as always, going amazingly! He brings me more joy then I could have ever imagined!