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Friday, January 20, 2012

Never been in love like this...

As much as I love my husband, a husband isn't guaranteed for life. Granted, we all hope our marriages will last through the years, but marriages (and most relationships in general) are not guaranteed.

What is guaranteed is my love for my son. <3

Last night, while he slept, I held him and gazed for what felt like forever. His little legs dangled over my arms as he barely fit.  His chest gracefully rose and fell, his long eyelashes curled, his little nose warm to the touch. His lips made sucking motions as he tried to cling onto his paci. I just sat there and stared (which I often do). And I thought to myself, I don't think I could ever love someone as much as I love Elijah.

I do plan on having more children in the future, but something about Elijah has affected me in a way I don't think I can ever describe or duplicate. He has completely changed my world. He has made a once very impatient woman, a patient mother. He has made giving up certain vices (including certain friendships) an easy process, where I once would have felt broken. Everything has been clarified as I stare at him. He is my world. And although I have maintained myself while becoming a mother, I know that my role in life is just that, to be his mother. To guide him, build confidence in him, help him explore, learn, love, laugh and grow.

This is now my primary role and job in life and nothing else is more important.

I've never been in love like this. And I can't thank God enough for giving me this amazing gift.


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